Christmas Hobbit style 2
by SirGhirahim
Summary: Last year Bilbo told the dwarves of Erebor, the elves of Mirkwood, Rivendell, Lothlorien and the men of Dale about how hobbits celebrate Christmas and Santa Clause. This year he tells them about Krampus and the worst Christmas in hobbit history. Inspired by the German legend and movie.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Please don't sue me I'm poor.**

It was that time of year again a time for joy and celebration. It was the day before Christmas and the dwarves of Erebor were holding their annual party to celebrate a good year, good prosperity and a good alliance. They had invited the elves of Mirkwood, Rivendell, Lothlorien and the men of Dale to the celebration, but this time there was a few problems. Those problems being that no one was getting along.

Thorin and Thranduil were the ones who had started it. Arguing over who had won a game of chess. Thorin had lost and said Thranduil had cheated and Thranduil said Thorin was just not good enough or smart enough to play chess. Their argument had soon drawn a crowd and nearly all of the people involved were arguing.

Bilbo watched in disbelief as everybody including the leaders shouted at each other back and forth. He shook his head and prayed it would stop soon for the sake of his sensitive hearing.

"I don't like this" Tilda said.

"Neither do I sweet heart" Bilbo replied "It reminds me of the time hobbits argued just like this and had the worst Christmas ever"

"Really? What happened?" Bain asked.

"Sorry Bain I don't want to scare you with that story the night before Christmas" Bilbo replied remembering the first time he had heard the story of _him._

"What story would that be Bilbo?" asked Bofur as he sat next to him.

"Bilbo said that the hobbits had a bad Christmas because the people argued like this" Sigrid said.

Bofur nodded his head "That's understandable. It's not nice when anybody argues and it's more than enough to ruin anybodies day"

"It wasn't the argument that ruined Christmas it was what happened afterwards" Bilbo said in a dark tone.

"What happened?" Tilda asked.

"Sorry too scary. Maybe when you're a little older" Bilbo said.

"But what if the same bad thing happens because dad if arguing?" Tilda asked.

Bilbo hadn't thought of that. The story of _him_ was from the shire, but what if _he_ could come to Erebor? "I-I don't know, but if it does may the Valar have mercy on our souls" Bilbo replied the fear in his voice apparent.

"You sound like we're going to die Bilbo" Bombur laughed.

"We very well might do if they keep this up and _he_ comes" Bilbo replied.

By now Bain, Sigrid, Tilda, Bofur and Bombur were scared. Tilda got out of her seat and went to stop her father from arguing. She grabbed her dad's arm and told him what Bilbo had said.

Curious Bard followed Tilda away from the arguments and towards Bilbo "What's this about Master Baggins?" he asked.

"Just remembering what happened to the shire when the council argued like this a few days before Christmas" Bilbo answered.

"What happened?" Bard asked.

"Nothing good" Bilbo replied ominously.

"He said something bad happened but he won't tell us because it's too scary" Bain said.

Bilbo was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice that the argument had quietened down and more people were interested in the supposedly scary story.

"What's all this about?" Balin asked.

"A scary Christmas story that Bilbo won't tell" Bain said.

"He said that we might die if we keep arguing because _he_ will come" Bofur replied.

"Who's he?" Dwalin asked.

"Don't know Bilbo won't say" Bofur replied.

Soon enough others became more curious and asked about the story.

Bilbo's reluctance to tell the story was wavering and finally crumbled when Lady Galadriel asked him to tell it.

"Alright but don't say I didn't warn you" Bilbo said. He waited for everyone to get comfortable and began the story "Almost four hundred years ago the hobbits of the shire were preparing for Christmas and everything was going well. There was food a plenty, lovely decorations and a lot of Christmas cheer. But there were some that were not so happy. The council were arguing much like everyone was just about who would get the honour of hosting the first Christmas party, but nobody could agree and everybody wanted to be the first. The arguments got so bad that in the end they did something that had never been done before. They cancelled Christmas"

People gasped at the very thought.

"There was no Christmas?" Tilda asked.

"Yep, no more Christmas. No decorations, no presents, no Christmas turkey, nothing" Bilbo said "They made everybody put away everything to do Christmas"

More gasped were heard and people said how horrible it was.

"That is quite the tragedy, but how does this relate to us dying?" Thranduil asked.

"Well after they cancelled Christmas they still argued and made everybody around them miserable. Their negativity and hatred allowed something dark to enter the shire" Bilbo replied darkly.

"Something dark?" Elrond asked confused and intrigued.

"Yes. Saint Nick was not coming that year instead someone much more sinister would be visiting" Bilbo said "His name is Krampus"

"What's a Krampus?" Dwalin asked.

"He is the anti-Santa the shadow of Saint Nick. He and his demonic helpers do not come to give but to take" Bilbo replied.

"D-Did he take away peoples toys?" Tilda asked.

"If only. No he took away your life" Bilbo said.

Everybody gasped again and Legolas asked "What manner of creature is he?"

"He is a terrible ten foot beast with goats legs, a human torso and arms, with claw like hands, a bony skeletal face and with two large horns protruding from his head. He wears a red coat covered in rips and dirt, he is wrapped in chains, carries a whipping rod and a large sack" Bilbo explained.

People cringed at the as they imagined such a creature in their heads.

"S-Surly such a beast does not really exists?" Arwen asked.

"He does exists. Everybody has a shadow even a saint" Bilbo said "That year there was a snow storm trapping the hobbits in their homes. It became cold and miserable and food was running low. Nobody was good spirits and it was that negativity that let Krampus in to their homes"

Everybody in the hall was quiet and listened to Bilbo with interest and horror.

Bilbo recalled the tale of Krampus as his parents has told him:

"Four hundred years ago was the darkest and coldest Christmas the shire had ever had. Hobbits huddled in their homes trying to stay warm. There was no moonlight and it was pitch black outside. As the hobbits waited in their homes for the night and the storm to end, they heard strange noises coming from outside. The sound of shuffling footsteps, shadows outside the windows and something cackling. And then they heard it inside their homes"

Everybody in the hall felt their anxiety rise as the story continued.

"Hobbits went to investigate the sounds and were horrified to find that the children's toys had been replaced with demonic toys. These toys were alive and bloodthirsty. Teddy bears with teeth like knives, Jack in the boxes larger than men, girls dolls with claws and even the ginger bread cookies were dangerous. The toys rushed at the families and attacked them. They injured, killed and took them away one by one. The screams of men, women and children filled the air as they were attacked by the toys. Some hobbit tried to brave the outside weather to get away, but it was no good as more demonic helpers attacked them and dragged them into the snow. Many tried parents tried to save their children by taking them underground and into the bunker, which was used in case of emergencies. Many children were taken and locked down in the bunker and they listened to the sounds of devastation outside. As the night went on the white snow turned red and the bodies of hobbits lay strew all over the Shire. The children in the bunker sat in fear, until there was silence outside. Many thought it was over and possibly safe to go outside, but then there was a loud knocking at the door. The children squashed themselves as far away from the door as they possibly could, feeling safe knowing the door was locked"

"They didn't get in did they?" Kili asked in anticipated curiosity.

"Oh, they got in alright" Bilbo replied "Then another sound came from door. A squeaking sound and then ting as the metal hinges of the door were being unscrewed. When the hinges were all unscrewed the door feel open. Hitting the floor with a loud crash and letting in whatever was on the other side. The children watched as a tall, dark figure loomed in the door way and stepped inside. A hoof stepped on the wooden door making it crack and splinter. Step by step the figure approached the children, until they were only two feet away and the children looked into the horrific skeletal face of Krampus himself"

"Did he hurt them?" Dwalin asked terrified.

"Krampus reached for the sack on his back, put it on the floor and opened it. He reached out at the children with his hand was prepared to stuff them in his sack"

"No" Sigrid said scared.

"Yes" Bilbo said "Slowly reaching out for the first child he stopped when a clock on the wall chimed midnight. Krampus looked at the clock and closed his sack. He turned around and walked away"

There were sighs of relief from everybody.

"Why did he stop?" Balin asked.

"Because like Saint Nick, Krampus can only be here for one night and when that time is up he has to leave" Bilbo explained "It wasn't until daylight that the survivors came outside and saw the carnage that was left behind. The Hobbit's wept for the dead and spent weeks cleaning up the mess. And after that incident it was agreed that Hobbits would never again cancel Christmas. And we came up with this phrase when telling are children about him 'He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake _._ He knows if you've been bad or good. So be good for goodness sake. The End"

After Bilbo finished the story everybody stopped arguing, fearful that they would invite Krampus. Not a lot of people slept that night. Most parents stayed awake to keep an eye on their children and those that did sleep were plagued with nightmares of a creature with horns.

When morning broke it was Christmas, but no one was really up to celebrate, at least not until they made sure that Krampus did not visit them. Once they were satisfied they were safe they were ready to celebrate like they always did.

Bilbo felt slightly proud of himself that he had made everyone get along, he just wished he hadn't had to do it through fear. Although his fear was justified, after all one does not simply forget a visit from Krampus.


End file.
